To Thine Own Self Be True These words of Polonius are taken from Shakespeare's work:

“This above all: to thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man…"

I’m going to share one of my most valuable clinical techniques in helping another person achieve "being true to themselves." 👉Unfortunately, it has been only the last few years that I discovered the importance of this particular psychological method. As clients struggle in life and come with their insurance and credit cards to my office they often are asking themselves similar questions. Although the specific problems may vary from addiction to depression from abuse to divorce, the core questions generally stay the same “What is the answer to my problem?” and “How can I know what to do?”

Discover And Use Your Personal Promptings
The psychological technique I'm referring to is discovering and using your personal "Promptings". Promptings are a spiritual influence that come from God into your mind as a thought or a feeling put into your heart. Promptings have in common the fact they come from a divine source, God. The “Light of Christ” and “Holy Ghost” are the specific social media platforms used by God to communicate Promptings to you.  👉At this point the difference between Light of Christ and Holy Ghost really don’t matter. What matters is learning to receive messages from this divine delivery system. As you develop your skill in using Promptings you will obtain impressions from God about what to do and what not to do in your life.

Not All Thoughts and Feelings Come From God
There are numerous causes for your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feelings can be influenced by: your environment e.g. entertainment, pornography; your physical body e.g. nutrition, sleep, mental illness; your life experience e.g. abuse, abandonment; Satan e.g. temptations; and by God e.g. Promptings. As you learn to recognize the different sources of your various thoughts and feelings, your confidence in you and your future will change for ever- you will have no fear! (See Where Do Thoughts Come From?)

Trial And Error Learning
Yes, there will be a learning curve as you master recognizing and complying with your personal Promptings. It will take time and effort to learn. But hey- remember all those misspelled words on your spelling test and the calculation errors on your Algebra test? Be patient. God wants more than anything to talk to you. You will learn to check your Daily Promptings just like you learned to check your Facebook page, Instagram, or any other social networking platform.

Anatomy Of Your Soul
Let’s do a brief review of the anatomy of your soul. (See: The Anatomy of a Soul) Remember you are made up of a “Physical Body” and a “Spiritual Body”. Both have the capacity to learn. "Spiritual learning" comes from divine sources “Light of Christ” and the “Holy Ghost” talking to your spirit. "Temporal learning" comes from books, school, workshops, therapy, and life-experience. Temporal learning teaches your brain which is part of your physical body. Learning to recognize and comply with your divine Promptings is the classroom where spiritual learning occurs.👉Unfortunately, I think we failed to teach anyone how to access divine Promptings and learn spiritually.

Promptings Never Exceed Your Capacity
Because Promptings have a divine source and messaged by an all-knowing God we can be confident they are based on truth. It’s been my experience that choices based on truth eventually work all the time and every time. A choice based on truth never fails! 👉Although it may be in the life here-after before we recognize it as the correct choice. 😉  When you identify and follow a Prompting it is always the right choice. Because God knows everything about you from beginning to end, you can be sure He would never give you a Prompting beyond your capacity to achieve it. It's against the laws of Heaven for God to send you a Prompting that you do not have the capacity to achieve. It will not happen! 👉Nevertheless, in the beginning as you learn to trust your Promptings it is not unusual for you to believe "I could never achieve that."

An Example
Here is a recent example. Mr. and Mrs. Smith are a middle age couple. They've been married 25 years and active in their church. The wife was severely sexually abused as a child over 30 years ago by a family member. Most of her personal and married life have been impacted by her unresolved sexual abuse issues. Sister Smith has read books, attended classes, been to therapists, and visited with clergy. She seems to have tried everything "on earth" that she and her husband can think of to find peace.  Yet, when I met her she continued to feel victimized by her negative self-talk, occasional dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts of earlier abuse, and frankly being confused on how to proceed with her life. Mr. & Mrs. Smith have spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on earthly resources attempting to resolve "her sexual abuse problem" with very little success? 👉And these guys are very intelligent professional people! I’m quite sure Sister Smith is more knowledgeable about sexual abuse and its effects then I am! If there was a class on abuse, she could teach it! Clearly the Smiths have learned about all they can "temporally" about sexual abuse.

 This statement came to my mind: "Ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." 2 Tim. 3:7 👉I think it is not by accident this scripture is in the chapter where Paul describes the apostasy and perilous times of the last days. Sister Smith had failed to access her most powerful resource- Promptings! No one has taught her the importance of and the "how to" to activate personal revelation for direction concerning her personal sexual abuse issues. She had diligently looked elsewhere to her husband, to her therapist(s), to her books, etc etc - but failed to look inside herself 😕 and trust her personal Promptings. She was unsure of what God would have her personally do.  When I asked Sister Smith to pause and look inside and ponder possible Promptings she was quite nervous and unsure of her ability to trust herself and her capacity to follow those Prompgtings. She had been learning about earthly knowledge, but as of yet not found "truth" for her own personal recovery. "Ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." 2 Tim. 3:7

The way to receive Promptings is really quite simple. The process has been around for hundreds of years. With practice I'm confident Sister Smith, 👉And you if you decide will become "true to herself"  by learning "temporally" by her earthly resources and "spiritually" by her Promptings. 

 dr rick

Mature Content For Teens-Sign of the Times

These are the last days. Jesus Christ is now preparing for his second coming (Matthew 24:32-33). So none of us should be surprised when we see prophecy fulfilled. Prophets, including Isaiah and Paul (2 Timothy 3:1–5; Isaiah 2:11-12), foresaw our perilous times. We learn about the moral condition of these "last days" in this scripture saying people would “be lovers of their own selves, … without natural affection, … lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God,” (2 Timothy 3:2–4) . For this to be achieved, some must promote Satan's teachings. While others fight against them and "wrestle … against the rulers of the darkness of this world, [and] against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12). 

One of my "wrestles" As conflicts between nations escalate, as cowardly terrorists prey on the innocent, and as corruption in everything from business to government becomes increasingly commonplace, we may be blinded to what's happening in our own homes, schools and neighborhoods. A few weeks ago I was sitting in the Healthy Sexuality breakout session at the Walt Disney World Dolphin resort in Orlando, Florida. I was attending the 2016 Conference of Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers (ATSA). As an approved Utah Department Of Corrections sex-specific provider, I'm required to have so many hours of CEUs to maintain my certificates to deliver sex-specific treatment services. Sex-specific professionals from around the world attend this conference to learn the Standard of Care for working with those with sexual problems. As I'm sitting in the  Healthy Sexuality class I was amazed how the world's morals and values have changed during my 40 years of being a provider of mental health services. There were numerous examples during this several day conference my Christian upbringing  "wrestled" with Satan's successful promotion of  "lovers of pleasure"  and "loss of natural affection." 

Sexual pleasure without natural affection Given my work with juveniles having sexual problems I was absolutely astonished at the workshop presenters' general acceptance of:

1) Teens using some porn 👉 Professionals promoting acceptance of youth looking at porn while they are developmentally going through puberty is one of the stupidist things I've ever heard of! 👎👎 and

2) Teens being sexually active with one another without a relationship  👉 We call it a "Hook-up" or "Friends with Benefits". Where strangers / acquaintances meet, give consent, have sex and go their separate ways - there is no relationship / no natural affection. It's all about sexual pleasure. 

"Good Sex" for teens The Domestic Violence Center in Australia website provides guidelines when youth are to have sex: "Good sex is all about asking questions, getting clear answers, listening and respecting your boyfriend, girlfriend or hookup’s choices." This organization provides a script for teens to make sure they get "consent" before having "good sex."  The "Good Sex" script suggest that youth should ask questions before and during their sexual encounter. Questions like:

What would you like me to do? ... If your partner: grumbles, groans or makes other uncomfortable noises stop and find out what they’re thinking ... Sorry to ask, but do you have any STIs? ... and if things go wrong during the sexual encounter: Sneak your keys, phone and money into your pockets or underwear, and say, “Mind my bag for a minute, I’ll be right back”, then get as far away as you can. You may have to fool the person by leaving your handbag or jacket behind, so that it’s not obvious that you’re gone. 👉  Really! I'm going to teach this to my 15 year-old? I'm amazed that Satan could influence anyone, let alone professionals, to believe such lies. This kind of garbage makes me think I should have been a plumber, not a psychologist. Blah, Blah, Blah  

 Sounds
Lean more @ Lovegoodbadugly.com. I've had clients shortly after the 'Hook-up" 👉 and legal charges had been filed, who can't even remember their victim's / sexual partner's name! "Ethical porn use" for teens  And how about the "Itstimewetalked.com"  promoting "Ethical use of porn for teens."  👉  like an oxymoron "teens" and "ethical use of porn." This organization recommends teens:

Become a choosey consumer? If you don’t think you will avoid porn altogether, you can still make choices about your use. While not all porn is the same, in heaps of it, people are treated badly. So, it can be hard to find porn that is more ethical. 

Here are some of this curriculum's guidelines for teens to "ethically" use while viewing porn:

• avoid porn that looks like people were unsafe during production – for example, porn that shows unprotected sex or bodily fluids in people’s mouths or eyes.
• avoid porn in which anyone is being pressured, hurt, abused or degraded. This might not always be obvious, because often the performers look like they’re loving it, even if they’re not – because it’s their job to make it look that way. If you think it’s likely that in real life most people don’t want to be treated that way, then you might ask yourself: ‘Is this the sort of porn I want to get off on?’
• 👉 I recommend you DON'T try teach this at home. This is like putting gas on a fire and expecting it not to burn. 🙁 See: What Do Twinkies and Porn Have in Common?

Coming to a school near you❓❗ There was a line of ATSA members waiting to purchase this School Porn Curriculum. If you're interested in learning more see: Why is porn an issue for schools? 

A prophecy fulfilled before Jesus Christ's return General acceptance of using porn and being sexually active without a relationship are excellent examples of  "… lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God..." and sexual arousal "without natural affection."  

 👉 This latter-day prophecy "☑ DONE."

dr rick

Are you a little concerned about your children or grandchildren growing up in these last days? Have your children and grandchildren check out:  Voices For Virtue. Here over a million Christian youth from around the world gather to support one another in virtuous living. For example, they actual virtue pledge to believe in God and to have sex after marriage. As parents and grandparents check out PornProofingKids.com for curriculum to inoculate your child from porn abuse and sexual promiscuity.

Sex Education for Christians 101

Sixteen year old Joe has two first degree felony sex charges involving a 12 year old "consenting" female. Joe attends church on Sunday and his youth activity every Wednesday. He has a leadership position in his youth group. His parents are also active in the Church. The court has ordered Joe to complete a Sexual Behavioral Risk Assessment. I'm doing the assessment. Oh yea, he's on the school honor roll.😇

Joe wears a white shirt and tie to my office. He's very polite and calls me "sir."

I started collecting Joe's sexual history by asking "How many girlfriends have you had? How many dates you've been on?" He replied "No girlfriends. Never dated. My religion teaches me I should wait to date and only group date."  I move on to my favorite question, "What parts of girl's body is wrong for you to touch?"  👉 It's my favorite because it tells so much about a person's understanding of sex. Joe was silent for a minute then he said "I don't usually say those words." I reminded him it would be okay to tell me. He responded "Privates."  I asked "What names do you use for a girl's privates?"  He became noticeably anxious. There was more silence. He responded "Do I have to say it?" I reminded him the judge expects him to answer all my questions. He eventually said "The part between her legs."  At this point I gave up!  I went on to the other questions: "Have you ever engaged in sexual behavior?"  He replied "No."  Then the question "Have you ever had sexual thoughts or feelings?"  He quickly replied "No." 😂

It's pretty easy to do a sexual history on someone believing they have no sexuality.  So I completed the typical 1 hour interview with Joe in 20 minutes. 👉There are some advantages to his inability to recognize his sexuality.🙂 Oh yea, I almost forgot the final question "In your opinion when is it okay for you to do a sexual behavior?" He answered confidently: "After my mission for my church and after I'm married." 👉I didn't have the heart to tell him he probably wasn't going on a mission with 2 first degree felonies. 

Over the years, I have learned to recognize this "Sex is bad and dirty and I'm not sexual till marriage" pattern. This pattern typical occurs with "Hyper religious families"  who never talk about sex. 👉 Notice I didn't say "hyper spiritual".

Of course, I know Joe's lying. I've read the police report telling of the sexual touching he had with his 12 year old neighbor.  I confronted Joe about his sexual behavior by reading him his police report.  He responded: "That wasn't sex! We were just messing around!" 👉 Great, I say to myself we're making progress - he at least said the word "sex."  

Joe's story seems so ridiculous, you probably think I made up this story. I didn't! There are lots of questions generated by Joe's story. For example, How in the heck can Satan successfully get Joe to appear so healthy in all aspects of his life but the sexual one? Or how about the question, What does God count as "sex?" Let me get on my soap box about one important lesson we can learn from Joe's story.

Once a person goes through puberty they will have sexual thoughts, feelings, and urges. 

Doesn't matter if you go to church or if you're religious. 

Doesn't even matter if you are aware of your sexuality 

or even can name body parts.😕

Joe, like many good Christian kids, has learned sex is bad and dirty and should only happen in marriage!  👉Think about this statement "something bad and dirty" that should only happen in marriage. And the problem extends from not only "sexual behavior" is bad and dirty - but thinking about it, learning about it, talking about it, just saying the words, is also bad and dirty. DON'T DO IT!!

Some parents believe and teach as if their children aren't sexual or aren't supposed to be until their honeymoon. Joe and his parents act as if somehow Joe's sexuality will lie dormant until he gets married at which time sexual arousal will magically appear. 😵

We are sexual beings created in the image of God. Sexuality can not be compartmentalized and ignored while waiting for marriage. Clinically, I believe Joe's problem in many ways is more serious and difficult to treat than his non-religious hyper sexual peers. Our sexuality is something that is always there once we go through puberty, even if acting out these sexual behaviors is not.

Will, a friend of mine just made this whiteboard  teaching some of these concepts. We're using this as part of our Foundation's #virtuestrong project:

If you have older children I would challenge you to watch this video with them.  At the end ask them "What's one thing you learned?" If you feel too uncomfortable in showing and having a brief discussion with your child - Get help!

I do NOT want any more clients. I'm getting to old and very inpatient. 😂

 Other Dr. Rick's resources: God's Love Chemicals Puberty the Second Fire God's Plan for Sex